Another poem by me, what do you think?

Shadow of Depression





Dwelling in the shadow of depression

Yearning for my most recent obsession

Although daily I have to deal with the impression

Of having hurt the one I love with aggression



But I cannot shake this uncontrollable need

Somewhere along the line it must have planted a seed

For now it infests my mind like a weed

I no longer go my own way, I follow its lead



I have got to break free to keep myself sane

It is the only way to get control of my brain

I cannot let this anguish continue to reign

It has continuously brought me so much pain



It is essential I clear my head enough to understand

Why I have been dealt this miserable hand

I must turn to my faith to help me stand

Because with God by my side, on my feet I will land

Another poem by me, what do you think?
Very nice. I love it. You definately have talent, I love the rhyming and the wide range of vocabulary. You're poem really gives the reader a vividness of what you might be going through. You really made these words come alive. Never give up writing!! Maybe you should write songs too.
Reply:You describe it well,

You rhyme your thoughts in keeping with the swell

of the tide of emotions on which we all ride

unless we become aware of our true Divine side.



Liked it alot and it encompasses what so many people struggle with, what I've had a taste of, and what some of my friends and family struggle with.



Bless you for 'landing on your feet' I think your poetry's really neat. (Groans from the audience)



I'm glad you express yourself through poetry and are willing to share it with us. Bravo!

:)
Reply:Very intense, very deep and the flow is great! Plus, the fact that you made it ALL rhyme is very impressive! :)
Reply:As poetry it is excellent . Just a little disturbing for one so young try to lighten up on yourself a little life at your age is hard to cope with because you don't yet have a since of perspective that tells you that life has good and bad . The bad only makes the good that much better ! Heard a philosophy years ago that made me laugh but it is true " don't take life so seriously you'll never get out alive " ! One other thing don't look for pain in life and you will find more pleasure in it !
Reply:That was really good- and the rhyming wasnt corny or forced. don't change anything except remove "enough" in the last stanza.
Reply:that was great.

i love how you continued the rhyme ever changing on each block. it was refreshing and light yet it had a certain darkness.

i loved it so keep writing i would love to see more of your work.

~Good Luck and Love ~Chela
Reply:I really like it, I would check the spelling and grammar, but the emotion and imagery are stricking, well done.
Reply:nice
Reply:BEAUTIFUL