Am I right to keep my mother away from my son?

Just recently my three-year-old son, Nathan, was diagnosed with bipolar psychosis. This has been quite difficult for me, considering my situation. My girlfriend got pregnant when we were both sixteen - stupid and young. We were both taking acid, weed and ecstasy on a regular basis and were heavy drinkers/smokers. I was seventeen when my son was born, and two weeks later my girlfriend left. She has wanted nothing to do with Nathan since. At this point, my Mum took me and my son in while I sorted myself out. Nathan turned my life around, I gave up all my bad habits and have looked after him since.



The doctors believe something might have happened to Nathan, like someone mistreating him - but this won't be clear until he sees a counsellor. He often stays with my Mum, maybe a couple of times a month, and she's asked for him to go this weekend. She's very offended and upset that I don't want her to see him until I know more about what's wrong with him. If my Mum has done something to him

Am I right to keep my mother away from my son?
Your mother's probably going to be hurt by this, but if the doctors think that someone may have been mistreating him, you're better off keeping him close. You know that it isn't you mistreating him, so it has to be someone that has constant contact with him. Or some of the other answerer's might be right, maybe it is due to the fact that his mother isn't around or because she did drugs when she was pregnant with him. But Bipolar is also something that can be inherited. I got diagnosed with it when I was 13, my uncle has it and so does my grandma. You never know if it's something that his mother might have passed onto him or not. But you're better off keeping him with you until the doctors have determined what is going on with him. If something serious happens and you don't know where, then there's the possibility you could have Child Services in your business. Explain to your mother that you're not trying to hurt her, just protect your son.
Reply:"But I have no reason to believe she has, and don't see her doing such a thing" If this is true, then you have no reason to keep him away. BUT you are his father and you have to make this decision, but do it honestly with your SONS best interest at heart.
Reply:Talk to him about what she does. If you find anything wrong confront your mother about it. Or if he does'nt wan't to talk ask him to draw a picture of what she does.
Reply:You wanna know what's wrong here.. IT"S NOT YOUR MOTHER....... It's Nathan's mother who is a irresponsible drug addict while being pregnant... That poor kid... Please don't keep him away from your mother when she took you and your kid in..................
Reply:its probably better to be with your son when visiting your mom. or anyone else for that matter.
Reply:Simply tell your mother that your son has this diagnosis that really worries you and that you want to stay close to him until the counselor gives you the feeling that sending him away is in his best interest. Don't say anything else to your mum about him. You can say to her that you're sure she'll understand. It could be that your mum got used to him being with her and that she really misses him but you are in charge and it sounds to me that you are doing the best thing for your little son. Good luck to you. Your mum should be proud of you.
Reply:You have no reason to think she has, yet you are automatically assuming she has mistreated him? Did she ever mistreat you as a child? I'd be offended too. She basically saved both your lives and now she's being treated like the devil by you b ecause you have no one else to blame. You even say the doctors don't know, they speculate. Maybe his problems have to do with all the drugs and alcohol coursing through his system when his mother was pregnant.



I don't think you're right. I think you're on a witch hunt.
Reply:You're the one who said that you and his mother were doing all kinds of drugs before and while she was pregnant with him. That might be the problem and instead of dealing with your guilt you're trying to push it off on someone else. IF you have no reason to believe that your mom's hurt him and she did raise you than to keep them apart would be unnecessary. Children need a women in their lives like children need men in their lives. How did your mom raise you??? Did she abuse you??? Did she hurt you if not I doubt that she's doing it to Nathan. What's going on with Nathan is probably a result of the enviorment he was in while he was in the womb and the damage done to his genes and chromosomes by all of the drugs that was taken by both you and his mother. Medical science is beginning to realize that the things that a father does before conception affect the child as much as what a mother does during gestation. Children of acholoic father's are more likely to have learning disabilites than those of none alchololic father's. Even when the mother has not used drugs before or after conception. You know from how you mother raised you whether she's likely to hurt your son and that's what you should go by her past history.
Reply:Better safe than sorry. I would.



After all, if it turns out that your mother has not done anything to him, she can continue spending time with him and I think chances are, she will forgive you and love you both with no exception.



However, the fact that the thought even entered your mind that your Mom could've been the one to possibly mistreat him in any way, says something, don't you think?



I think it is wonderful that your son helped you turn your life around. Children are amazing in helping us take a good hard look at ourselves.



Well done.
Reply:I would like to clarify that bipolarism is neurochemical.

Many young children who are candidates for it are usually misdiagnosed with ADD or ADHD. When you say "psychosis", which symptoms are you referring to?

I think that you may want to keep everything as low key as possible with Nathan for the time being. Keep everything mellow for him!

See what the counselors have to say, but don't assume it was your Mom in the meantime. Maybe he is having a hard time going from her house to yours, and that is causing his unease.

Good luck to your Baby Boy!
Reply:First and foremost he has had something happen to him...

His mother left him that is so traumatic to any child any age it will cause Mental issues please consider this before thinking someone else has harmed your son.. A mother and childs bond is something crucial that a child must have especially if she was a part of his life even just two weeks that child knows his mothers voice and her heart beat and smell. That is what is wrong He spent almost a year with her as one that is a big big deal and a very sad story that brings me to tears my heart goes out to your son. Everybody deserves a mother.

She would have been better off if she would have left immediatly after birth instead she stayed for two weeks and there lies the problem... God Bless you and your son..

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