Should parents lie on behalf of their children?

Supposing a 14 yr old decided to get stoned on weed. Parents find out, and do you SERIOUSLY think they should bunny-hop to the police to say "My Gosh My Gosh My Gosh So and so is smokin' WEED have him AREEESTED!"







Seriously, if you're a parent, and you KNOW your son bought and used drugs, you would obviously talk to/scold/ground your son. But if asked by school officials or the police if he did drugs, WOULD YOU TURN IN YOUR OWN SON FOR SOMETHING SO SMALL?????





And suppose your son slept late a few hours. Just missed the alarm. Happens. Would you





a. "See no evil, hear no evil" and let the school deal with it? Believe it or not, today one can get SUSPENDED for sleeping late! Technically a truancy, goes on the "black list" (permanent record) and goes everywhere he goes. FOR MISSING THE ALARM ONCE!



or b. Lie. Say it was a doctor's appointment. Clear the absence. Say he was sick. Oh, you can still give him the punishment. You can ground him for the weekend.

Should parents lie on behalf of their children?
My mum left the responsibility of getting up for school up to me. If I slept in or was late then I had to explain why, if I got detention, or a note in my file it was my own fault. The smoking drugs, well I do believe she wouldn't dob me into the cops unless they were looking for me, but if I ever did and she found out she would take any paraphernalia away so I couldn't do it again. I don't believe that you should fight every kids battles for them or they will never be responsible, but it really depends on the parenting style and the family life and dynamic.
Reply:I wouldn't turn my kids into the cops for smoking pot--but, you can bet they would be facing far worse consequences from me. If I was directly asked by the cops, I would't lie--but I would not go so far as to turn them in---unless I had tried everything I could to stop them and nothing worked. Then yes, I may turn them in. If my child slept late for school, I would call and excuse the absence (if it happened ONE time)--there would be no need to give a reason. If it happened continually, then you can bet your sweet gumdrop that I would not continue to have them excused. They need to learn to get up and be responsible. It is NOT my job to lie for my child--but it is my job to guide them through life the best way I know how. If that means sometimes they have to face consequences, so be it. If sometimes that means, I can help them out--I will. But, I will be an enabler of bad behavior and bad habits.



EDIT;

To one of your adds--I would protect my child from unfair consequences/punishment. But the things you describe do not warrant anything UNFAIR. You know the saying 'do the crime, do the time' Sometimes you do deserve what you get!



I find it hard to believe you get suspended for being late ONE time. Detention time, maybe, but not suspended.

Maybe you could get up for school on time, if you weren't on YAnswers so late at night and in bed sleeping!
Reply:Ummmm, well let's see......drugs are illegal so if my kid engaged in illegal activities and was caught, deal with the consequences. You chose to gamble and lost. Deal with the law. Out of one side of you mouth you demand to be treated like an adult....but you sleep late and miss school. Happens. But the consequence is to deal with the school's rules. The parents' responsibilites is to tell you ALL of this years before and keep reminding you of that. And so when you do F up, you know EXACTLY what's going to happen and that your parents aren't going to "clean up your mess"...what are you, a baby with a dirty diaper (the mess you've created) or an adult (or wanna be) who takes on their problems head on and handles it?????
Reply:Got caught did ya?



I don't lie for any reason, it's against my personal beliefs. I wouldn't call the cops if my son got high, but if he got caught on his own, that's too dang bad. If my son slept late, I certainly would not lie to keep him from being suspended. How long is that supposed to last? When he's 20 and loses his first job sleeping in? I think parents who enable their children to be druggie losers are sad.



I'll continue to say that it's not unfair prosecution. It's a logical consequence of your own actions. You get high and sleep in, then you lose freedom. You have a record. If you do it when you have a real career or children, you could wind up homeless or killing a kid. I'd much rather have you learn the lesson NOW, rather than when the stakes are that much higher.
Reply:Ok no a parent is not suppose to cover up there wrong doings. Because what happens if you let your child slide through life doing all these wrong things. Then when they become an adult and rob a bank or steal a car. Guess what mommy and daddy can not bail you out anymore.



1st situation-Doing illegal drugs is not something small. Yes its your child your problem. But if its Illegal then sometimes the only way to get a teen to realize this is have them arrested. They know its Illegal and are not dumb. Plain and simple. Cause and effect at that age they know. "Geese if i do Illegal drugs or drink underage and get caught. The effect is i might be arrested and charged and my parents will be called. Mommy and daddy are not super man... Plain and simple!



Situation #2-At 14 you also understand when your alarm goes off its time to get up. You are no longer a baby and want the responsibility to do things on your own. To hang out with your friends. Get a permit etc.. THEN GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF BED ON YOUR OWN. If you miss the alarm then its your own fault. If you get suspended then its your own fault.



A parent who protects and lies for there child is only setting the stage for disasters later. Funny teens want cut loose off the chain. They want to be trusted and responsibility. But they can not even do things on there own and take responsibility! Well this goes hand in hand GROW UP!
Reply:Well, clearly you wouldn't rat your own child out to the cops...
Reply:Sometimes tough love is the best love. When you only hear one side, like just once you missed the alarm? Come on? Weed is a window drug, maybe the parents don't want their kids doing cocaine, or meth. And yes, I know I have been there. You should be happy that your parents love and care about you enough to take the time and try to get you aware. They probably want to prepare you for life, your boss doesn't care if you over slept.
Reply:I guess I am a fool them , when after the tons of times my daughter came in stoned I sent her to school, late mind you and high and I let the school call the cops on her for being stoned..
Reply:My parents have never "lied" for me per se, but I have been severly punished by them for some of my behaviors as a teenager, even to the point of being sent to a Girl's Home. I would lie for my kids if I caught them smoking pot becuase

1. I know they would be grateful to get cops/school off their backs

2. I want to punish them and talk to them about why they chose to do it



I am a teacher, and it is not my job to raise everone else's gosh darn little brats!
Reply:i would lie for my children
Reply:I believe that most parents would do anything to protect the well being of their child.

We all make mistakes and parents are like the birds taking care of their young.

Parents really don't want to lie for their children but if they do they do it out of love for them.They hope that the child will learn from their mistakes and not do it again. It is called unconditional love for their children.

I don't think that any parent would want their son or daughter to go to jail for a mistake. It would be heartbreaking for the child and the parents.

People make mistakes that is why there are erasers on pencils. As long as the child learns from them.

We all grow from our mistakes and learn. Sometimes people keep on making them over and over until finally a light bulb goes on in their brain and they realize I have to stop this now.



Warm Regards

Michele
Reply:it's called a white lie...parents always do that...



white lie is lying to protect somone from getting hurt
Reply:If I find out one day that god forbid, my son is using drugs- even if it is just weed, I'll talk to him first. Then I'll punish him. If none of that works, I'll have an authority figure light the fire under his butt about the dangers of drugs. Better to be turned in to the police than wind up dead later in life.



As far as the truancy issue... it would depend on how many days this kid had missed. If he was skipping school behind my back and was finally getting called out on it, sure i'd let the school deal with it.
Reply:I can see your point; but by covering up for them isnt teaching them the right thing. We can sit there, point the finger at them and say, "now, honey, dont do drugs;" but if we turn around and hide them, lie for them, etc., we are showing them that it's really okay. Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes,the best thing you can do for your child is let them suffer the consequencs. Sooner or later, they'll be out on their own and they are going to have to anyway. I learned from experience that the worst thing you can do is bail your child out when they are in the wrong; they will just get worse and keep expecting you to bail them out. That cant go on forever.
Reply:Yes it is a parents job to protect their child but , it is also a parents job to teach the child what is right and wrong . For that reason no I would never lie for my child . If I found out my child was smoking pot or doing any other form of drugs and then I was asked by the police if they did it I would tell the truth because I would want my child to understand what happens to people that choose that kind of life . And if My child missed school for their own fault then I would want my child to face the consequences and take the punishment . That is how you as a parent teach responsibility .
Reply:As a parent I would not turn in my son for smoking weed, but believe me he would have some serious consequences to pay. I would also say he was sick if the alarm didn't go off one time. This is something that happens to everyone at least once. More than once is not acceptable.
Reply:I hope that I would never have to decide this for myself when (if?) I ever have kids. I hope that I will set enough of an example that they never exhibit this kind of behavior, but again, we all make mistakes.



I would never turn in my child. I would discipline them on my own. I think the law is a little silly when it comes to marijuana anyway, alcohol is just as bad (if not worse) yet it's legal...

This is not to say I condone it in any way. I would flip if I found out my child were drinking or smoking anything like this, but I would discipline them on my own without outside influence.





As for the truancy issue, I've been there all too many times. Friends of mine almost didn't graduate when we were in high school because of tardies that were beyond their control. I think schools who operate on these systems need to wake up and realize that not every child has ideal conditions at home and punishing them for such circumstances is cruel and unjust.
Reply:No parents shouldn't get the law involved they should be what they are "parents" and deal with the behavior of their children appropriately. I don't think turning in your kids to the police will do anything but put your child through hardship with probation, court dates, possibly juvenile hall and etc. Parents who have lost control of their children should seek outside help, like possible mentor ship, counseling, spiritual retreats, or anything that might help not make the problem worse. Remember that your background regardless of age stays with you until adulthood. Plus if we as parents got busted every time we did something against the law I'm sure we would have a few good things that would haunt us as well.
Reply:I Know that my parents lie on the behalf of me... I do agree with this... but that is coming from a 14 year old girl...where I have got my self in trouble a lot...and My parents lie on my behalf.
Reply:I would never turn my kids in if they were smoking weed as I believe weed should be legalized. Jails and prisons should be reserved for dangerous criminals, not people getting high and minding their own business. However, I would educate my kids about it and give my honest recommendations.



Low rating because I think weed should be legal? LOL! Why don't you sheep do some research on marijuana instead of blindly believing the false propaganda from the state? Idiots.